tunisian:

who else up forgiving themselves over and over again

himbofisher:

himbofisher:

just saw the absolutely incredible typo “getting fucked soggy style” and now it’s going to rattle around my brain like a pebble in an empty soda can

call that pyramid head

froody:

froody:

froody:

I need him so bad it’s unreal

is there a silly guy depot I can find this genre of man at

anotherknifeinmyhands:

[TRANSCRIPT:

Mafia dude: BOSS! We found out who the mole is! It’s polyamorous Tony.

Mafia leader: that rat fuck! I want him dead! I want his wife dead! I want his wife dead! I want his wife dead! I want his wi-

END TRANSCRIPT]

your-fave-has-autistic-swag:

loth-catgirl:

shortlesbian:

ALT

charlottan:

ants dont have souls you can eat as many as you want and god wont even get mad

cryptotheism:

She let me hit it because I solved her riddles three

mclennonyaoi:

qvackjack:

mclennonyaoi:

qvackjack:

mclennonyaoi:

mclennonyaoi:

mclennonyaoi:

i have felt weird and terrible all day. what is happening

someone take me out back and shoot me like a sick horse

alright well fuck you too. i’m going to escape my pasture at night while you’re asleep and break all my fragile horse bones

you arent in a pasture at night you are locked in a stall in a barn with a blanket on. bitch.

ok well the blankets not so bad. i like the blanket. and the straw and the oats. dickhead.

do u want a sugar cube. do u want to chill and eat some sugar cubes together

this is fucking great things are all looking up for me. a sweet little treat

tooies:

i miss when bots had urls like “jenny0047194” or “s8znmia802ng”. i just blocked one with the url “evilpond” and i think it is really fucked up that they are able to take these wonderful urls away from all of the real people who might want them

fuckmeyer:

“I know what you are.”
“Say it. Out loud.”
“…Just Ken.”

photophoros:

The title of this one is “A comic about a discord message my girlfriend wrote to me at 4:32 AM on a Saturday”

lakevida:

god remember when there were no ads AND you could post dick on here. take me back i’ll be grateful this time

prohaloplayer:

meanest person you’ve ever met: i’m so sick of being nice

halles-comet:

why is this so fucking funny

official-boob-posts:

queermarzipan:

dankxsinatra:

thighhighcrocs:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

kirkpussyindulgence:

sometimes…reddit is ok…

archive link to post (link). post text as follows:

This is so fucking stupid. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I never use reddit, sorry if I do something wrong.

I (a 19 yr old girl) was watching Star Trek TOS a few weeks ago with 3 other friends (one 18 yr old guy, the other two don’t matter)  over a video call. We get to the episode Amok Time, and long story short there’s a scene where Captain Kirk’s shirt gets ripped right across his pecs (it kinda looks like one of those boob window sweaters?? idk how to describe it I’m sorry)

So when Kirk’s shirt gets ripped I say some dumb shit about him having fatty milkers and the two other friends laugh and we just start making tit jokes and making up increasingly stupid words for “boobs”.

We watch a few more episodes then call it a day and disconnect the call, and a few minutes after disconnecting the call my guy friend (we’ll call him Tom) messages me and brings up the Kirk boob jokes in passing, like he was trying to make it seem casual but I started feeling like he was bothered by it and wasn’t telling me, you know? So I asked him if the tit jokes bothered him and he got really defensive and didn’t really answer the question.

Later one of the other two people that was there (we’ll call him Mark) messages me and tells me that my guy friend was mad at me. Apparently Tom had ranted to Mark about how William Shatner (the guy who played Kirk) was a huge inspiration to him as a kid and he thought I was being extremely disrespectful referring to his character (not even HIM, his CHARACTER) in such a derogatory way (as if William Shatner is gonna give a fuck that some teenage girl in central America said his old character had fat hooters, but I digress)

So Mark said I should apologize, I said it was stupid for Tom to have a temper tantrum over such a meaningless situation, Mark said that was mean, so I caved and apologized (and no it wasn’t a backhanded apology, I messaged Tom and said I didn’t mean to be disrespectful towards someone he looks up to and that I’d refrain from doing it in the future)

But then Tom continued to give me the silent treatment and fucking brings it up whenever we talk Star Trek and I ended up snapping at him that he was being childish for holding onto this for so long, and that I’d already apologized and I didn’t see why this continued to be such an issue.

Tom is now giving an even harsher silent treatment. Mark sides with Tom for some reason, and the other friend just thinks this whole thing is funny. I don’t think I’m the asshole, I’ll admit it, but some outsider perspective would be nice. AITA?

the fact u didnt add some of the comments in the archives is so upsetting bc it means ppl r missing GEMS like these:

Cap’n on deck

This is the best possible conclusion to this post

official boob post

captain kirk titties here